Diary of an adult runaway

Cramer should have known better

So yesterday I was going to have a whine about Jim Cramer whining on the Today Show about how mean Jon Stewart was. I got sidetracked by another whine and this morning decided I'd had enough of Cramer and Nadya whatserface (I can't say Octo-whatever-they're-calling-her because it just sounds wrong, like she's some kind of beast and whatever you may think of her--and I don't think you can include me as a supporter--she's not a beast) so I wasn't going to watch the Today Show.

Actually, that's a lie--my ADSL filter kept going down so the vodcast timed out and I turned instead to the latest Daily Show episode I had downloaded.

Ohhhhh, Lordie.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Basic Cable Personality Clash Skirmish '09

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Economic Crisis

And I thought the first installment was funny. But Dora the Explorer? Priceless! And, uh, showing footage of Cramer smacking the clown horn after calling Stewart a comedian? Heh. (For a more serious assessment of CNBC's problems, go here.) Cramer, please, Morning Joe? That's the best you can do?

Oooh, wait, I just read he's going on the Daily Show tonight. Folks, set those Tivos! I take back the skirts comment. Dude's got cojones. Still, you know, wrong, but it'll definitely be worth watching.

While we're talking about jackasses (hey! Dora said it!), I think it's fair to say I'm already hooked on this season's Dancing With The Stars. Steve-o was actually pretty good. And the Woz and Ty Murray--sweethearts both. Best line ever to come out of a contestant, though, has to go to Lil' Kim: "The first time I saw Dancing With The Stars was when I was in prison." Girl can dance, too.

Oh yeah, this season's going to be fun!

He's kidding, right?...?

Diddy: Lower oil prices so I can fly on private jet

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Fuel prices have grounded an unexpected frequent-flyer: Diddy.

Sean "Diddy" Combs complained about the "... too high" price of gas and pleaded for free oil from his "Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters" in a YouTube video posted Wednesday.

The hip-hop mogul said he is now flying on commercial airlines instead of in private jets, which Combs said had previously cost him $200,000 and up for a roundtrip between New York and Los Angeles.

"I'm actually flying commercial," Diddy said before walking onto an airplane, sitting in a first-class seat and flashing his boarding pass to the camera. "That's how high gas prices are. I'm at the gate right now. This is really happening, proof gas prices are too high. Tell whoever the next president is we need to bring gas prices down."

Oh, yes, Diddy. We need to bring gas prices down so you can burn up more fossil fuels. Because that will totally solve the problem! How about telling the next president that we need to look for alternate resources? (Oh, and note to Ms. Palin: when your household is benefitting directly from the oil business, you've lost all non-biased cred in my eyes.)

Two words, Diddy: Grow. Up.

I'll blame this one on Grumpy

No, not on being grumpy, but GrumpyFrump. Because I'm not grumpy at all, no, it's Friday and it's kiiiiinda going to be warm (13C! Woohoo!) and I had a fabbo night last night with Lisa and the boss is in Seattle and it's all good. But Grumpy's post reminded me of an incident this morning and I replied to her and then I thought you all should be aware of this, too, because I feel a sweet rant coming on.

My response was:

I yelled at 3 young kids today who were pushing to get off the bus, while I was waiting for someone to get off the bus so I, too, could GET OFF THE BUS! I turned around and snapped (in English, ooh!) "DO. NOT. PUSH. ME!" I think more random strangers should yell at errant children because if the parents won't pull 'em into line, I have no qualms in doing it for them....so THERE!

I was thinking as I wrote it, I could have politely said, "Excuse-moi, j'attends la dame, soyez patient" but then I thought "Fuck that, I'm not their parent," I'm not in charge of their manners, I don't have to gently say "Dear children, wait, these people are getting off, then you can get off." Nope. I'm the ADULT that they're pushing and I'm not putting up with it coz, guess what, I don't have to. Especially not from 3 seizieme brats, oh hell no!

So parents of Paris, beware. I understand the difference between kids being giggly and happy and enthusiastic and kids being rude and pushy. If your children are pushing people around, they will be yelled at, by a woman who then calmly reinserts her iPod headphones and strides merrily away. And if you get all snotty and shitty, well, too bad, I'm not afraid to yell at you, either. You had the kids, you raise them right. I'm the foreigner, therefore I can do what I want...heh heh.

And here's what I was listening to when I strode off:

This song lights such a fire in me, them kids are just lucky I didn't shoot 'em neon green with a can a' Dupont sper-ay, yes they are.

OMG, I feel one helluva kick-ass weekend coming on!

What a difference a cane makes

So, it's been an interesting week (thanks for the good wishes and the telephone calls--I'm feeling beaucoup du love :-) ). Went back to work yesterday and finally got some walking canes that are doing the trick, because right now I can't put any weight on my knee. I'm really, really surprised and humbled by how nice total strangers have been, offering help. I know I've said Parisians live in a cone of blindness, but (shh, don't tell anyone!) I've been proven dead wrong.

Anyway! Enough of that because I want to talk about my new discovery. I know Amra's been grooving on Entourage for a while, so I took being last week as the perfect opportunity. IOW, I OD'd on Seasons 1-3 and I'm thinking of getting a "What would Ari do?" tattoo on my ass, because I fucken LOVE that guy! Sure, in real life I'd want to kill him but I admire that he never gives up, never gives in, always has the last word, and says whatever the hell he wants. I enjoy it even more on the rare occasions that he's stymied and you can see him trying to figure out how to get what he wants. It's a lovely moment when Ari Gold is speechless. Loved Jeremy Piven in The Larry Sanders Show and Smokin' Aces but he completely shines in this. And let's hear it for Kevin Dillon. I keep laughing at that perpetually confused look on his face. Oh, and Rex Lee (Lloyd)? Perfect! Especially when he yelled at Ari "Fuck you!....sorry, reflex." Genius, genius writing. I think I need me one of these:

And a completely different kind of show, but very funny, too. I watched the pre-air of Aliens in America (did you check that one out, Anna?), about a midwestern family who want an exchange student to make their geeky son cool and who should lob up but a sweetly sincere Pakistani who praises Allah for his good fortune. Much gentler than Entourage, but the pilot did a good job of taking gentle jabs at our prejudices. I see Luke from Gilmore Girls has taken over the role of the father, though I thought the guy in the pilot was fine. Oh, well.

Funny. I read an article, I think it was on The Age's site, about how men are ruling TV, there are no great shows for and about women, and I guess, I think, maybe I should be upset about this? You know, being a (gasp!) feminist. But, um, I'm not. Sure, there are some girlie shows I liked--Gilmore Girls, though sometimes that Lorelei... (sorry, Keris <g>) and...I don't know, can't think of any more. So what does it say that my favorite shows are mainly guy shows? Rescue Me (ohmigod OHMIGOD OHMIGOD TOMMY!!!!!!!! PUT THE BABY DOWN AND BACK AWAY!!!!!!!!) (Seriously, if the ending of episode 3 this season was shocking, episode 7 ratcheted up that tension to a level that had my heart pounding. Who said TV was relaxing?), Entourage, Californication, Dexter. There are some great female characters in all those shows, but not the leads. And the latest shows I've watched with female leads haven't grabbed me. What is it? Is it a double-standard, that women are supposed to be likeable, whereas Ari is a total asshole and Dexter kills people and I'm like "Excellent character!" Maybe it's just because I know they are characters? Well, no, I know the chicks from Lipstick Jungle (see, can't even remember their names) and Bionic Woman are characters, but I...just don't care.

Maybe it's just that I'm more interested in what the guys are doing (roadtrip to Vegas sounds like a lot more fun than running a motion picture studio. Ohhhhhhhhh, waaaaaaaaiiiiiiit. I think I'm getting it. The chicks in Lipstick Jungle--all successful career women. High-powered jobs they're angsting about. Compare that to Dana or Barbara in Entourage. They're successful, they're just not angsting about it--they just walk in and get shit done. And Jaime in Bionic Woman (whose name I of course remember because I loved the original, though I notice they've changed the spelling from Jamie), at some stage she's going to have to save the world and honestly? CBF'd! I'd rather be on a roadtrip to Vegas. I am just.not.interested in saving the world. (And while I really like Holly Hunter's character in Saving Grace, I'm still waiting for her to get preachy. Though, from the way she flashes the neighbor, I'm probably just looking for toruble where there is none.)

So what am I missing? Are there TV shows out there with strong, funny, non-angsty female leads? None of that bloody Scully traipsing around muttering "Mulder, Mulder?" shit. FOR GOD'S SAKE, no Mere-death, either, or I'll hit you with my cane. I might just have to wait for Reaper. Ooh! success! Just found the pre-air, I'll watch it tonight. Hopefully she'll be a bit like Georgia from Dead Like Me, who had her fair share of angst but offset it with deadpan humor. Though it bothers me that the only female lead I can find who appeals to me is 18. Surely, SURELY TO GOD, there has to be a mature female LEAD who can kick ass without being a raving bitch.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Oh, and make the tabby in this pic Pumpkin and the black and white cat Kody and you'd have life at my house this past week. Wherever Pumpkin was on the bed beside me, Kody had to get. Pumpkin? Not happy.

Nobody move!

Well, actually, they've come and gone, and I'd show you the pics of the ace Keris and David and the wonderful gift they bore, except it's on the iMac and I'm confined to the iBook at the moment.

Why? Glad you asked, though you probably won't be, because I'm about to set forth on a major WHINE and yes, I WOULD like some cheese with that! Second chiro session on Friday. Things were very sore on Saturday but better on Sunday and by Monday my quad was feeling a lot less knotted. Just in time for London, when Kurt arrives in a few weeks.

In the meantime, I'm watching all the pre-airs I can get my hands on, so here's my totally biased opinion on the new season's offerings:

Californication: as I mentioned last week, outstanding. Can't wait for more.
Bionic Woman: Alias meets Painkiller Jane. Not really thrilled.
Saving Grace: Love Holly Hunter, love the concept, this could get a little too preachy for me, though.
Chuck: too cute
Lipstick Jungle: too cute, except for that chick from 24 and The Nine. Might tune in again.
Damages: too slick, too aware Glenn Close is acting, though the last scene had a nasty twist that might bring me back for more.

Other shows:

Rock of Love: Good God almighty, what are those women thinking?
Age of Love: still hooked. Looking forward to next week's finale in Melbourne.
Weeds: Nancy in even more trouble--love it.

Basically, though, I still think Rescue Me is the best show on TV, partly because I'm not aware they're acting. They are completely the characters, it's rough, it's messy, people have real problems, the writers don't back down from nasty situations, the guys sound like guys--oh, and computers don't do what they can't do. But a special shout-out to Flight of The Conchords. If you haven't seen it, it's a whimsical show about 2 Kiwi guys living in New York, trying to become a successful musical act. There's lots of deadpan humor (à la The Office) and cultural misunderstandings, their obsessed one-woman fan club, their Kiwi band manager who's supposed to be working at the New Zealand Consulate, which is some dodgy office with a NZ flag in the window, and 1 or 2 scenes per show when it turns into a musical. In the most recent episode, the guy at the fruit stand wouldn't serve them because they're Kiwis, then they realized it wasn't Kiwis he hated but Australians, so they became friends and the 3 of them ran up to the Australian Embassy and gave the finger to the guard, who went crazy returning the gesture. Made me laugh, anyway :-)