That's what Melissa's been asking for about 6 weeks now and I was like "Yes, yes, but where did I put that CD with the photos on it?" Ask no more--I found it last night while digging around for my passport. And since I leave tomorrow for Australia, I figured I'd better do this now!
So, the plan was originally that Bev and I would spend a day at Discovery Cove, where we'd do a little swimming with the dolphins then a lot of loafing around. But that plan got scuttled when we called DC and they announced they were closed that week. Bugger! So we trawled around the Seaworld website and eventually stumbled upon this other thing that sounded cool. Called the reservations line, got in, and then found out we had to be there at 6.30am. Double bugger!
You'd think little Titusville would be quiet at 5.30 in the morning, but we joined a steady stream of earlybirds headed for Kennedy Space Center (where Bev used to work) and the military base on the Cape. Still, the run into Orlando was smooth and we found the employee parking lot and showed up all excited at the employee entrance (already starting to get busy), where we were collected by Erica, a young marine biologist, who took us into the backstage area, the stuff behind those big sliding doors. (I'd love to show you photos of that but we weren't allowed to take in cameras, mainly because they have their own photographer meet you several times throughout the day--which you have to pay for, of course.) Because we, too, were marine mamal keepers--just for that day. We'd be feeding the animals, hauling around buckets, etc. They're not stupid at all, getting us to pay for doing their work.
We were greeted by Madison the dolphin doing leaps in her tank--she was trying to get our attention because she knew damn well it was feeding time, where was the food? Unfortunately for Madison and her 3 tank-mates, one of them was going for tests in a few hours so no one was getting fed, no matter how many times she brought me her squeeky toy. But the boys in the other tank were--by us. We made them work for it, running them through the commands the keepers taught us before dropping handfuls of slimy fish in their mouths. These guys are part of a male dolphin contraception pill trial (and the human equivalent will be when?) so they were being closely monitored.
Truth be told, all the animals there are closely monitored and well cared for. Erica explained that the profits from all the shows, etc, are channeled into animal rescue and research, then took us to meet their most rescued animal, the manatee. We threw in cartons of romaine lettuce leaves and were rewarded by these huge, sweet creatures drifting up to the surface and eying us curiously before feasting. (That's how manatees get into trouble--they're curious and that puts them in the way of boats.) There were 3 rescues in that tank and 1 in another; he was being released that day. 1 of the rescues was just a baby, so he got to drink from a bottle and we got to touch him. He was all rough and bristly--like an elephant, his closest animal relative. (The dolphins felt like peeled boiled eggs, while the Belugas, who we met later, were a lot more blubbery.)
Then we jumped into our little golf cart (so cool) and zoomed over to the labs. There was a lot of squealing going on in there--the baby Asian River otters were awake and ready for their food, damnit! (They get fed every 3 hours.) Cute they are, definitely inquisitive, and total shits. They were into everything, squealing, clicking, pulling each other under the water in their pool (a bucket, actually) nipping me on the inside of my elbow. After we had them sorted out, we stopped by the adult version. One word: stinky. But so sweet in their own way. One couple had "retired" from shows. He was practically blind so he relied on her to guide him around.
Back in the cart, off to Fish Central, for a lesson on how the food was prepared. There were some huge cold rooms stacked high with fish (lots from Norway) and a large room where the different formulas were prepared. Each dolphin had a list of what they got to eat, some having more fatty fish than others. depending on what was going on with them. We did another lap past the dolphin tanks to watch the girl dolphin who was going to surgery being lifted out of her tank. The tank had been drained except for a few feet, so we got to see how deep they are. Another dolphin was getting blood drawn from her tail and was much better about it than I would have been.
Then we went out into the main part of Seaworld to feed the dolphins with babies. Except they didn't want to be fed--apparently they don't have much appetite in the morning. So we headed off for...hmm, trying to remember. Maybe we tried to feed them first then watched the other dolphins...oh hell, I can't remember! But I think that next we got in the golf cart and zoomed way around to the other side (going beneath the rollercoaster which appeared out of nowhere and scared the shit out of me) so we could meet some harp seals then the beluga whales. I went into the (closed) auditorium, which was all dark and made the whales glow. They were in high form that day and didn't want to do what the trainer told them, leaving when they hadn't been told to, etc. But we got them to make their sounds for us and it was completely eery.
Next? Hmm, next we went to see the manatee habitat, and the sun was shining and it was about 24C and everyone was happy and the manatees floated along and looked at us with those huge eyes. And then we got to eat in the staff canteen, where everybody was really friendly. (Later, when Erica asked me if I liked living in Paris, I said "Not today, I don't, not when the sun's shining and everyone here smiles and loves their job." And what's not to love, being around these creatures in an environment where I heard Margaritaville played at least 3 times.)
Then another cart zoom back to the other side and we were getting into wetsuits. Bev slipped into hers easily but I was like “Someone pull this up for me!" Off we went to the main dolphin pool (cue photos!) where the keeper there told me wetsuits were easy to get into, just wear cotton sox so the neoprene slides (Smartass. Where were you 10 minutes ago?) then took us out to practice our dolphin trainer skills on his charges. Here we are getting hugs:
Then we sat with them and he told us lots of stuff that I've forgotten.
But I do remember the commands he taught us, enough so that I feel confident I can walk into any Seaworld anywhere and cause choas. I know how to make them jump, turn, chatter and more--all I need is a handful of fish. Extremely cool!
One thing I learned: this is what happens when you splash water at a dolphin:
Fair enough.
Fought our way out of the wetsuits and went to meet the seals and feed them in their main habitat. Just about pissed myself laughing. Who knew each seal had his/her own distinct call? We're tossing fish into the water and they're wailing and throwing themselves in front of us. One put on the most pathetic show I've ever seen--he had me doubled over, in tears, with his pitiful eyes and endless moans.
Either before or after that, we got to meet Bucky, a huuuuuuuuge California sea lion. 800 pounds, I think. Bucky loves back scratches:

Which is okay, but Bucky liked to make sure you weren't going to stop and, I'll be honest, he freaked me out! Even though I let him kiss me. (Fish breath!)
I think it's fair to say he freaked Bev out, too:
However, we never felt like we were in harm's way and we were closely monitored--they didn't want any nuf-nufs running loose near the animals. That was evident when we went to our next stop, the polar bear enclosure. We were behind glass the whole time, watching as Johnny took his nap. Johnny, who if he'd stood up, would have been 12-feet tall. He had a toy in there, a big plastic bucket that he'd crushed. At one stage, he turned onto his back and stretched out his paws. Yeah, no, I was happy to admire from a distance.
Our next--and last--mammal was just as awe-inspiring. A pair of very, very, very large walruses. All I could think of as they rolled down the hallway to meet us was: Jabba The Hut. And then when they started making their noises and their eyes bulged out to the side, kinda like side mirrors because these guys are so big, well, I took a step back. Not that they're vicious, but if they somehow roll over you, you're definitely a goner--not to mention they're kinda gooey <g> Like the sea lions, they have these big whiskers and when I put my fist to one's mouth and said "Kiss," it felt like a suction pipe.
By that time it was after 2.30 and our magnificent adventure was almost over. Erica gave us books and t-shirts (coz every good day out deserves its own t-shirt) and left us at the photo stand. We sat at a cafe, tired and reeking of fish but still buzzed. We eventually mustered up the strength to see the penguin exhibit and I thought maybe I'd be able to hold out until the Shamu show, but by then we were both just about dead. See what a decent day's work does to a girl?! So we tottered off back to Titusville* and had long showers but still couldn't get the fish completely out of our hair and from beneath our fingernails. Not that that stopped us from raving about it for days after.
The only "low" points: not having a camera to document all the behind-the-scenes stuff and the people we met, and the orcas not being in the program. No reason given, and I completely forgot to ask, though with Shamu being Seaworld's mascot, you'd think...BTW, there are 6 orcas in residence and they're all called Shamu.
If you ever get the chance to do the Marine Mammal Keeper Experience, do it. And if you have a friend like Bev, who treats you to it for Christmas, count yourself very, very fortunate. I do :-)